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Bear Ferrets and Mating Turtles

July 6, 2012

I bet you’re wondering how that family meet-and-greet went in Florida. I’d like to say it went swimmingly, although I’m not sure I’m the best person to ask. Cue in Nic’s mother and sister, they would probably give you an accurate representation of my behavior.

I would say I was overwhelmed. Not just because I come from a quiet family where I’m the loud one, and I was suddenly transposed into a a situation where I had people I loved, just like me, all around me, plus five kids. That’s no where near a bad thing, it was awesome, but it was also very different. I love Nic’s family, they are so very sweet, and were so gracious in having us the entire week. I only wish that his sister and mother were part of my own family. I. loved. them.

We won’t talk about the night where I decided to cry on a patio. Not worth your time, or mine.

But I will tell you about the salt and pepper shakers we bought, and Bear-Ferret. (See doesn’t that sound ten times more interesting?)

First the Bear-Ferret. On our way home, near Brown County, Indiana, Nic is driving and I’m sleeping. I jolt awake and at the feeling the car is swerving, look to Nic and ask if he’s okay. He begins to tell me he saw a crazy animal on the side of the road eating something. I ask him what it looked like. Here is his response:

“I don’t know. It kind of looked like a giant bear, only it hopped around like a ferret. It was large, and it was eating something. You know how ferrets jump around, yeah it was doing that.”

My response: “Nic I’m not so sure there are bears in Brown County. I don’t think you saw a bear.”

Nic: “Well, it looked like a bear, and it jumped around like a ferret. I don’t know, I think I’m hallucinating… can you drive?”

I don’t know what it was. At all. But it certainly wasn’t a bear ferret. Of that I’m certain.

Nic has been searching for unique salt and pepper shakers for pretty much the entire time we’ve dated (one year), and in that time he hasn’t found a single pair worth buying. We’ve certainly come across an interesting variety… but never what befell us at the Florida Citrus stop.

Don’t mind the Road to Oprah van – (did my author’s follow me?)

I didn’t take this picture, but it’s exactly the place we stopped – and in it they had hundreds of glass souvenirs, trinkets, gator heads with their mouths open, and tons of oranges. You could even buy a box of oranges and have them shipped to a destination of your choosing. Grandparents own this building, everyone was over 80, except Nic, me, and his children.

So while we were there, with two children, of course we had to look at everything. Nic’s son wanted to look at the real stuffed gator they had in the back, so while I’m back there, Nic finds the turtles.

I come back over with him, and as I’m walking over, Nic is telling me about the cute little salt and pepper shakers he found and how they were only three dollars, and he really, totally wanted them.

He had one turtle in his left hand, the other in the right and he showed them to me separately.  I thought they were extremely cute too, and so we bought them.

Fast forward 13 hours later.

We’re in the house, and Nic’s daughter  is playing with the turtles. I think nothing of it, but take them away and put them on the stove so they don’t get broken.

Fast forward two days later.

We have a free moment from the kids, and my dirty mind realizes that one of the turtles looks like he’s… ready for some fun. I put the two together- and that’s when I realize… they are supposed to go together like that. I immediately call Nic into the room, who participates in my dirty gutter mind, and then he realizes they are supposed to go together. He said they weren’t displayed together, and he didn’t notice it when he bought them. I didn’t notice when he showed them to me. He had one in the left hand, the other in the right.

I’ll let you make your own decisions…

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