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Gossip Queens

August 8, 2012

We all remember those moments from high school when the rumor mill is a-flowing. We think, “Gosh, if only we can just leave high school, all this drama will be gone forever.”

I’m here to tell you this is completely, utterly, and ridiculously wrong.

Your life is going to be filled with gossip, Sweet Valley High Gossip.

It will never end.

The only thing that you, as a responsible adult can do to combat the everyday gossip you’ll hear is to not engage in it. AT ALL. It will be a struggle. You’ll want to gossip so badly.

Don’t do it.

I’ll tell you why gossip isn’t a good idea. Because sooner or later, you’re going to realize how much it hurts the people you’re gossiping about and just how ridiculous you sound.

I’m proud to say that I’ve never gossiped about anyone I didn’t know – but I’d like to share a story (using no names whatsoever) to indicate to you how much this type of talk has hurt my life.

No matter who you are, if you’re a woman, you’ve done it.

I found out today a person I considered to be a dear friend wasn’t a dear friend at all, but in fact had been gossiping about me just as much as she’d been gossiping about others to me. But instead of choosing to do it with someone who knew me personally, and could make sound judgements of my behavior and aggressive personality, she chose someone that didn’t know me at all, therefore leaving an impression of me that was false and downright mean.

When you talk ill of another, especially when you are doing so simply because you’re jealous, upset, or feel as though your turf has been trampled upon, you’re pulling other people down, for the sake of your own glory. That’s sinful and painful to the person who may be very nice, but you’ve made out to be a total bitch.

Come talk to me if you have a problem. If you feel I’ve wronged you, come talk to me, like an adult. We’ll work it out. We aren’t in the fourth grade anymore. It doesn’t just ruin days, weeks, or months. You ruin relationships, even self-esteems. (I too need to practice this paragraph.)

Today is when I realized that my behavior contributed to this gossip and that I did nothing to stop it. It wasn’t until I had realized that others were doing the same to me that it stopped me in my tracks and forced me to think about my what I had said about others.

Those people I spoke poorly about are probably sitting on their sofas too, drinking whole bottles of wine, crying and writing blog posts about how upset they are to hear such words.

I will be extra cognizant moving forward about the words I say about others. I will not gossip about people I don’t know (although I can’t recall a time I’d done that before). It’s hurtful, especially when people find out. Especially when the person you’ve gossiped about turns out to be a nice individual after all.

To be frank, this friend of mine really isn’t a friend at all if they’re going to behave that way toward me and toward others.

Talking ill of others in this way just exposes your own poor insecurities and shortcomings… not mine.

I heard the song “Wide Awake” on the radio today and the words resonated with me well. I felt the words so strongly “Yeah I was in the dark // I was falling hard // with an open heart // i’m wide awake.” I realized today how some of the people I considered to be dear to me were actual phonies. Screw that.

I don’t care if you think I’m mean, rude and disrespectful. I find my hardcore personality actually gets me places in life. As Emily Bungert from People’s Revolution once said “You say ‘bitch’ like it’s a bad thing”. Yea.. I don’t care if you think I’m a bitch. I get shit done.

All I have to say is:

I’m going to use my big mind to discuss ideas. Like a decent person. So f#&^ you, gossip queen.

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